Segway Finally Crashes After 20 Years of You Tube Video Fails

I'm sad to say (not really just pretending to be) that Segway has discontinued making it's "personal transportation device" that goes by the same name after 20 years and an entire You Tube Channel dedicated to it's many epic fails--er falls. Harder than figuring out how to ride one, was trying to look cool while astride what it's inventors thought would be the future of human transportation. Mockery was made almost from its inception, as Segway was featured in TV and Movies famously ridden by the likes of Iron Man villain Obidiah Stain, in Zombieland Double Tap they rode them in abandoned malls possibly as a tribute to Paul Blart who rode them with disastrous consequences in populated malls, Grandma's Boy and some little known flick called 10MPH (which was all the faster they could go). Famous people famously wiped out on Segways, immortalized forever on the internet in the dorkiest possible accidents. Every Celeb from George W. Bush to Beebs wiped out riding one and Usain Bolt's entire career could've been ruined when he tangled with a cameraman aboard a Segway after an event. But possibly the greatest tragedy and irony at the same time, was the president of the Segway company riding one while showing it off..over a cliff. To. His. Death. RIP!!! Anyway, buh byeeee Segway, we'll miss the way you made people look like nerds for twenty years. The company, which is actually called Ninebot, officially stops building them July 15th. After that Ninebot introduces it's newest 'personal transportation' device, the S-Pod, an Egg-shaped sit down thing which looks as though it's inspired by the wheelchairs that the animated human race in the movie Wall-E were forced to use. So, way to read the room Ninebot!! BTW, couple of SIST (Serious Issue Shallow Thoughts) on the matter: exactly where will these motorized egg-chairs be driving, on the roads? or sidewalks? And don't we already have motorized personal transportation devices we've been making here in Detroit for about 112 years? I'm just sayin!!


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